


Hello, I'm an Alligator

by Sevnaria



Series: We are here [7]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: A Small Mention of Blood, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Gen, I'm Bad At Titles, Internal Conflict, Lee Jooheon-centric, Not Beta Read, and tagging, gunhee pops in for a second, how is that not an official tag?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-05-12 00:30:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19217947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sevnaria/pseuds/Sevnaria
Summary: Jooheon officially announces that he will stop doing aegyo.The backlash is worse than expected.





	Hello, I'm an Alligator

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by Monsta X's appearance on Weekly Idol where Jooheon said he'd quit aegyo, but most of it is completely made up!

Aegyo had always been something Jooheon had loved and hated simultaneously. On one hand, it made him seem more approachable and easy-going. On the other, he was afraid it made people underestimate him or look down on him as a rapper. While he loved their monbebes and would do anything to make them happy, this inner conflict had slowly taken a toll on him during the last few months. 

It had begun when he had met up with Gunhee for lunch, the two frequently got together despite not having debuted in the same team. They saw each other around the company sometimes and Gunhee was on good terms with all the members, although closest with Jooheon. They had gone to a café to eat and catch up when Gunhee had mentioned Monsta X’s latest appearance on Weekly Idol. 

“I saw your version of ‘Be mine’ last week”, he said with a smirk and Jooheon blushed a little.

He’d actually had fun showing off his aegyo since the MC’s had hyped him up and called him legend, number one among male idols and so on. The members had also encouraged him and complimented him even on their way home afterwards. But he was still a bit shy when other people mentioned it, he never knew what they would think.

“I mean, you’re good at it”, Gunhee said as Jooheon continued eating, “but it’s not really fitting for a rapper, you know.” 

Jooheon swallowed and looked up with a slight frown.

“What are you saying?”

“I don’t know, you’ve just changed a lot since debut, you’ve gone kinda soft.”

The words reverberated through Jooheon and he didn’t hear Gunhee add “not that it’s a bad thing”. He pushed away his plate abruptly and excused himself, saying he had a dance practice to get to. He felt bad leaving Gunhee behind, the other barely getting a chance to say goodbye before Jooheon had left the café. But before he’d realized, he was running down the street to get homes as fast as he could, heart beating rapidly in his chest. 

When he finally reached the dorm, he was greeted by Hoseok who was on his way out. The older asked why he was out of breath and Jooheon said he’d been out on a run. Hoseok thankfully didn’t mention that the jeans and shirt he wore hardly seemed like running wear and walked away after telling Jooheon to drink some water. Instead of taking his advice, Jooheon headed straight for his room and was relieved to find it empty. He sat down by the desk, finally allowing himself to reflect on the situation. 

Why had he run? It wasn’t anything he hadn’t heard before, he wasn’t a stranger to reading comments even if he’d never gotten as deeply engrossed as Hyungwon. He knew some people thought he was weird or silly but he could usually handle it, especially when he saw the myriad of comments from monbebes professing their love for him and his aegyo. 

So why did it hit him this hard now? Maybe because Gunhee was someone he’d thought understood him, they had been friends for a long time and Jooheon would trust him with anything. He’d expected Gunhee to be supportive of him, they had always had each other’s backs. Maybe that’s why it hurt so much to hear it from him of all people, it came so very unexpected. 

Jooheon groaned and shook his head as if that would help clear his thoughts, he wasn’t made for over-thinking. So what if it seemed unbecoming of a rapper to act cute, their fans appreciated it and that should be enough. Their support was what mattered at the end of the day. 

He slapped his cheeks and forced a smile on his face, this wouldn’t get him down, no sir. 

~~~

Weeks passed and although Jooheon had tried to push if from his mind, every time he performed a cute act he heard the echoes of Gunhee’s words. When they were at a fansigning event, one girl even asked him if he was okay because he accidentally grimaced when she asked him to do aegyo. He inwardly told himself to get it together and managed to pass it off as thinking too hard about what to perform for her. 

Later, on their way back to the dorm while the rest slept, Jooheon stared out through the window and tried to come up with a solution. He didn’t like this newfound insecurity that plagued him whenever he was asked to act cute, he wasn’t normally one for questioning himself. He faced things head on and made sure to always do his best, despising the feeling of regret. 

He sighed and then nodded firmly at his reflection in the car window. He’d made a decision and when they reached the dorm he asked to speak to the members. He told them what he wanted to do and when they all said they supported his choice, his love for them brought a few tears to his eyes that earned him a few teasing remarks and a group hug. 

~~~

He’d done it. 

Jooheon had finally stood up for himself and made it clear that he was in charge of at least this one part of his life. He had to admit, it felt pretty good.

Even if the MC’s had given him that cruel final declaration that he still had to read in a cute voice, it was the last thing to get through before he would be allowed to quit forever. He felt a sense of relief as they continued the shoot and his heart actually felt a bit lighter. No one would ever doubt that he was fit to be a rapper again.

One of the hosts pulled him aside before they could leave and told him that it was a very innovative publicity stunt. Jooheon, in the most polite way he could muster, told the man that he was very much serious about his decision. He then gave a small bow, leaving quickly before he let his annoyance show. He didn’t like that some people would assume it was an attempt to get attention and that he would go back to aegyo once it had had the desired effect. He tried to comfort himself that at least his members knew he was serious and were all for it.

Speaking of the members, when they got back home that night Jooheon was surprised with a feast. There was enough food to feed a dozen and Kihyun had gone above and beyond to make him a cake to top it all off with. They called it his graduation party and even if he knew they would use any excuse to throw a party, Jooheon felt touched. 

They had a great night, all talking and laughing about everything and nothing. They all collectively groaned when Kihyun announced that he would take on the role of aegyo master now that Jooheon had retired. It almost made Jooheon reconsider his choice. Almost. He was really happy that he would be able to say no whenever someone asked him to act cute from now on, he had officially graduated and could refer to that. 

~~~

It had been weeks after their episode of Weekly Idol had been broadcasted and the reactions to Jooheon’s resolution had varied quite a bit. Most fans were supportive, saying they loved him no matter what even if they would miss his aegyo and Jooheon loved them for that. Then there were those who, like the host, believed that it was all a joke, that he would soon be back to “normal” and tease them all for believing him. Jooheon had a certain amount of understanding for those fans, it honestly did seem like something a celebrity might do. But not him, he was done with all that for real and the sooner people realized the better. 

However, there were also “fans” who said that they would never accept Jooheon not acting cute anymore, that he would forever be their aegyo king. He was almost scared when he read those kind of comments, they were threatening in a way that sent chills up his spine. The others told him not to mind as much, there would always be antis who disliked you for something. 

“Nobody can please everyone all the time”, Changkyun said with a shrug and Jooheon briefly wondered when he’d become all grown up. 

“I know that”, he laid his head down on the desk in their small booth where they did most of their writing. “It’s just that I’m starting to get seriously freaked out by some of the comments, a few are getting sort of aggressive.” 

Changkyun did turn from indifferent to worried at that and stroked the other on the head like he was a cat. 

“Stop reading those comments or we’ll take away your phone like we did for Hyungwon.”

Jooheon smiled weakly and looked up at Changkyun. 

“It’s not only what I read, some of the bolder ones are telling it to my face at fansigns too.”

“Hyung! You need to tell someone when that happens, we have the bodyguards there for a reason.” Changkyun’s expression told Jooheon that he was really upset and he hurriedly calmed the maknae down.

“It only happened once and it wasn’t that bad, no need to make a fuss about it.” He smiled reassuringly and although he could tell Changkyun disagreed, the younger didn’t say anything more about it. Instead, they went back to work and Jooheon was grateful for the distraction since they had another fansigning later that day and he was nervous in a way he hadn’t been in years. 

He hadn’t been completely honest with Changkyun, it hadn’t only happened once and it had in fact been quite bad. At this point, he dreaded fansigns and he could never tell the antis from the real fans until they leaned forward and told him of all the terrible things that would happen if he didn’t go back to doing aegyo. Among other horrendous things, they would make sure to spread rumours about him and the other members, making sure to drive the whole group away from the k-pop industry. So far, Jooheon’s pride kept him from submitting to their threats but he had felt his resolve growing weaker lately as the number of fake fans kept increasing.

~~~ 

His entire body felt rigid as he sat down at the table, at the end of the line. He hated being the last one to see the fans, it meant that he would see them treat the other members with respect and admiration before reaching him and telling him he was a horrible person for not prioritizing their happiness. Still, he put on his usual smile and greeted everyone with what he hoped sounded like an energetic tone. 

And it went well for most of the event, the fans were genuine and even though some asked him to do aegyo, they accepted it when he politely declined. He slowly started relaxing when he realized they had gotten through most of the mass of people and that’s when everything went wrong.

At first, he wasn’t sure what had happened, it was so quick and he hadn’t been prepared. He vaguely registered the feeling of pain somewhere in his face but then a guard had pulled him to his feet and practically dragged him off the stage. He heard people screaming behind him but as he left through a door, being ushered towards the room where they had gotten ready, all sounds faded away. 

He was steered into the room by their manager, Hongsik, who appeared from nowhere. Inside, Jooheon was placed on the couch and his senses slowly returned to him. He gingerly touched his face to figure out where the pain was coming from and an involuntary hiss left him as he dragged his fingers across his right cheek. He drew back his hand and to his horror his fingers were painted red. 

“Hyung?” he looked at the manager, voice shivering. 

“It’ll be alright Jooheon”, Hongsik crouched down in front of him, first aid kit in his hands. “It’s not that bad, I promise.”

Jooheon winced as Hongsik cleaned the wound and put a large bandaid over some gauze. Then he sat next to Jooheon, who instinctively curled up against the manager’s side, desperate for some comfort as he tried to take in what happened. He wasn’t sure who or what had hit him but he hoped that the other members were unhurt. He figured they were, or they too would have been rushed off the stage with him.

As if summoned by his thoughts, the door slammed opened and they all filed in loudly. Hyungwon and Kihyun looked furious and Hyunwoo, surprisingly, seemed to share their sentiment. The other half of the group seemed more worried than angry, Minhyuk and Changkyun hurried to Jooheon’s side and had their hands on him within seconds, holding his hands or stroking his hair. 

“What happened?” Jooheon figured that was the most pressing question he had. 

When no one seemed to want to answer, Hoseok sighed and sat down on a chair facing Jooheon. 

“You were attacked by someone posing as a real fan”, he said gently. 

“”Her nails scratched your cheek”, Hyungwon supplied in a tense voice. He had been next to Jooheon and seen it happen, unable to react in time to stop it.

Jooheon’s eyes widened and thinking back on it now, he did remember staring into a pair of eyes filled with hate right before it happened. He nodded silently and fidgeted his fingers as he tried to think of something to say. 

“It’s okay, Hongsik-hyung said it wasn’t that bad.” He flinched as a hand slammed into one of the tables and all eyes turned towards Hyunwoo. Their normally level-headed leader was absolutely fuming and Jooheon felt like he’d said something wrong.

“This is so far from okay, Jooheon”, Hyunwoo’s voice broke. “No one should have to experience that, especially not while we’re supposed to be connecting with our fans and show our mutual appreciation.” 

Jooheon spotted a few of the others nodding in agreement and felt Hongsik move at his side. 

“Hyunwoo’s right and I’ll make sure that it’ll never happen again. We’ll have to tighten security in the future and look over the procedure to see what we can do.” He looked around the room at the disheveled group. “But for now, I’ll take you boys home and I’ll make a few calls to cancel your schedule for tomorrow and if possible, the day after that as well. I think you could use a few days to rest up. You’ve been working hard.” 

A chorus of thank yous echoed around the room and they all followed the manager to their car, wanting to leave the venue as quick as possible. Jooheon found himself squashed between Kihyun and Hyungwon, both clinging to his sides. Kihyun usually wasn’t much for initiating cuddles and Hyungwon always sat next to Hoseok these days, so Jooheon could tell that what happened had shaken them up. 

Once they were finally inside their dorm, after thanking and wishing Hongsik a good night, they settled down in the living room.

At first, it seemed like no one knew what to say and Jooheon was about to fall asleep on Minhyuk’s shoulder when Kihyun suddenly spoke up. 

“I want to make an official statement to clarify that we are all behind Jooheon wanting to quit aegyo and that anyone disagreeing is more than welcome to walk out the fandom door.” 

“Don’t you think that’s a bit harsh?” Hoseok mumbled and Kihyun immediately turned on him. 

“No I don’t, I think some crazy fan injuring Jooheon is a bit harsh. I think having a member leaving a fansign bleeding from his face is a bit harsh. Telling fake fans to quit pretending and back off however, seems like the bare minimum of what we should do.” 

Jooheon could feel Minhyuk nodding and he didn’t know what to think. Hoseok looked taken aback by the ferocity in Kihyun’s voice and Hyungwon stepped up to defend him, telling Kihyun to relax. The other snarled back and it turned into a heated discussion when everyone decided to join in and speak their mind. Jooheon’s cheek had started throbbing and as he let out a small wince, Minhyuk yelled at the others to quiet down and furrowed his brows as he looked at Jooheon.

“Does it still hurt?” Minhyuk asked and they were all looking at him now. 

“Just a little”, Jooheon admitted and decided to take advantage of the undivided attention. “I don’t want to make a fuss about this, can’t we just forget about it.”

“Honestly, we can’t”, Hyunwoo said, his previous fury seemed to have simmered down a bit. “At least, I can’t forget about it.”

“Me neither”, Changkyun mumbled from where he was seated in Hoseok’s lap. “It was really scary.”

Jooheon looked at the youngest and felt the shame rise within him. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s not what I was going for”, Changkyun frowned. “It’s not your fault it happened, it’s all that crazy ass b-”

“Ya!” Kihyun cut the younger off and Jooheon couldn’t help but chuckle. 

“We could do a vlive addressing the issue and _kindly_ ask the fans to accept that Jooheon is done with aegyo and we will not accept anyone attacking him in any way again”, Hyunwoo suggested. 

“That’s exactly what I said”, Kihyun protested. 

“Yeah, but less aggressive”, Minhyuk dodged behind Jooheon as a pillow flew past their heads. 

“I like it”, Hyungwon said and the rest nodded in consent. 

“Good, I’m thinking tomorrow, since we got the day off anyway.” Hyunwoo looked around the room but no one protested. “Now that that’s decided, how about a movie night?”

~~~

Their vlive ended up going on for three hours, but could have probably lasted five times as long if they would have had the time. They started by explaining what had been going on with Jooheon, recounting the incident at the fansign because they didn’t want to downplay the severity of the situation. 

Jooheon almost started crying as the members went on to vehemently declare that they loved him, aegyo or not, and was fully supportive of his choice. Voice thick from unshed tears, Jooheon then tried his best to explain how he felt about it all since he had realized that he hadn’t really talked his decision through properly before. He had reached the conclusion that being cute was a natural part of him that he occasionally felt comfortable letting out but that he was not going to act cute on order. 

Most part of the vlive however, consisted of them reading comments from the fans and just taking in the overwhelming love shown for Jooheon and the group. The korean fans seemed appalled that Jooheon had actually been physically attacked and some vowed to find the culprit, to which Jooheon responded that he didn’t want a witch hunt. There were also a lot of international fans who explained the basics to each other and immediately flooded the comments with support. 

One comment stood out and Jooheon halted the ongoing conversation to read it out. It came from one of the fans who had threatened him at a fansign and Jooheon was a bit wary as he read on. The girl apologized for her behaviour and he could feel the sincerity in her words. Apparently, she only understood now why Jooheon had stopped acting cute and had previously thought that it was just a way to garner attention and trick the fans. Jooheon addressed the girl directly and told her that while threats were never okay, he was somewhat to blame for not explaining himself thoroughly before. The other members and some of the fans protested at this but Jooheon held firm.

“That goes for all of you out there who’ve said less nice things about me recently”, Jooheon stared straight into the camera. “I know that it’s been confusing and that sometimes we don’t react to changes in the most mature or sensible way, that’s only human. But if you feel regretful or apologetic about it, I forgive you.” He smiled and felt someone pat him on the back. “As long as you accept it from now on and refrain from threatening or harassing any one of us, I’ll consider you a cherished monbebe.” 

After that, they only continued for about five more minutes before ending the vlive. They were tired since they had started broadcasting pretty late, and when Minhyuk proposed a sleepover in the living room no one said no. 

Thirty minutes lates, the table had been moved out of the way and the floor was filled with mattresses, blankets and pillows. Jooheon laid between Changkyun and Hyunwoo and yawned loudly as they all settled. He contemplated whether to say what had been on his mind the entire day but when Changkyun slung an arm around him he made up his mind.

“Thank you guys”, he whispered out in the darkness of the room. “For how cool you’ve been with all this and for today with helping me explain everything.”

“Of course”, Hoseok responded, “we’ll always have your back.”

“Honestly though hyung”, Changkyun murmured into his back, “I still think you’re kinda cute sometimes.” 

Someone chuckled at that but Jooheon couldn’t tell who.

“Like I told the fans, I don’t mind being told I’m cute and I won’t change my personality. It’s just that I won’t pretend anymore, I won’t do aegyo just for the hell of it or on demand.”

“That seems reasonable”, Hyungwon mumbled sleepily.. 

There were hums of agreement from several directions and then silence as they, one by one, dozed off. Jooheon listened to their soft snores for a while until he felt himself drifting off as well, falling asleep with a smile on his lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I appreciate it! I barely read through this one before posting, I'm impatient like that xD So feel free to point out any spelling mistakes or other inaccuracies.
> 
>  
> 
> In other news, have you guys heard "Who do u love" yet?? It's a bop, and Kihyun better watch his back because Jooheon seems to be coming for that main vocal position!^^


End file.
